Marital Stress (Part 1)

Marital issues are weighing heavy on my heart lately. Don't worry, Tim and I are fine, but I have had at least three people that I care about to be affected recently by marital problems. It hurts my heart to see others go through the pain of marital discourse and potential divorce. I feel compelled to write about it. Not that my little blog or Examiner articles are going to save marriages . . . but . . . you never know. If nothing else I hope that the information I can provide provokes discussion for married couples and opens the door for productive communication. 

[This is taken directly from Examiner.com. It focuses on stress because that's my role there. I plan to write another article and possibly a separate blog post to address specific marital problems and solutions]

The divorce rate in this country is on the decline. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that in 2009 there were 3.4 divorces per 1,000 people, down from 4.0 in 2000. It should be noted that recent reports do not include statistics from all states, including California, Georgia, Hawaii or Louisiana. Reports that say “half of all marriages will end in divorce” are actually quite misleading as there is no way to predict how many marriages will end in divorce. This myth results from a misinterpretation of facts that state that the number of divorces each year is approximately half the number of marriages. While the decline is encouraging, there continue to be many homes and lives torn apart each year due to divorce and marital discourse. Finances, parenting and responsibilities at home tend to be common sources of tension between husbands and wives. Added stressors such as infidelity, drug or alcohol abuse or domestic violence can cause stress to become unmanageable.

The stress that stems from an unhappy marriage may lead to anger, irritability, depression and excessive worry. These “side effects” further make it difficult to focus on and resolve marital problems. What can you do to reduce marital stress? Find a source of social support. Locate a formal support group in your area through a search in the newspaper or contacting churches or community mental health centers. Talk to a friend, but be selective. Choose friends who you believe will be supportive of you giving unsolicited or negative advice. A female friend who you know will simply “husband bash” [or male friends who “wife bash”], may love and care about you, but is not giving you the kind of support you need to make rational decisions. This leads to another stress reducer -- avoiding negative thinking. Ruminating over what is wrong with your marriage or all of your spouse’s less than ideal traits does not solve the problem and often leads to increased anger and negativity. Instead of thinking about what is wrong with the situation, focus on what you can do to change the negative aspects of the marriage.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Marital Stress (Part 1) - Jackson Stress Management | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/stress-management-in-jackson/marital-stress-part-1#ixzz1Fx9H3iMs